Betrayals

I thought I declared peace, but I became worse.
The feeling of trying to be at peace suddenly faded and turned to hatreds.

Have you ever felt betrayed?

By the person you trust the most, or the person you love.
Even the person that already went away.

I should've felt okay with knowing that he was gone and he had someone else and blablabla.
But I guess it was right to feel this way because,

he did that while we were still happening.

Can you even imagine how horrible I felt the time I knew about it?
It was pathetic.
The sadness was worse than the first.
I went crazier than before, I don't know how to explain this.

I actually promised myself to be okay when I hear about it,
but I didn't. I broke my own promise.

I should have known.

The feeling of getting betrayed, the feeling of that 'someone' is going to take him away from me was already in my head since forever.
I don't know if "girls" really do have these common senses where they usually got the right feelings, but this one does make me feel like I'm a pro.

I was right.

It wasn't because "I'm sorry but I had no feelings anymore", but it was because "I need to be free without you being such a strict bitch that controls me every time therefore I couldn't be with her."

Bang.
Headshot neen.

___________________________________________________

Yogyakarta,
10th of November 2016. 3:19 AM.
(Happy National Heroic Day, be a hero for your own self.)